


Soggy Baked Flour

by memorywolf



Series: Tumblr request fills/ other tumblr fics or drabbles [8]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Food Fight, Gen, Lindir getting hit with food, thats all there is to it literally
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:59:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4491033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memorywolf/pseuds/memorywolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The food that kili throws hits Lindir.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soggy Baked Flour

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: in the auj extended scene we saw kili fling food directly between elrond & lindir after bofur's song number. What if there is another food throw and it struck lindir, how will his lord react, or better yet, both parties. (seriously kili, that is not how you try to attract an elf.) by lunarlumina  
> i said no pairing but you know i cant resist against implied stuff, i love elrondir too much i just cant.

Lindir grimaced as he watched the food fly. These uncultured swines were tossing the food that the farmers and bakers and cooks spent their blood sweat and tears on like it was nothing but the dirt stuck onto their boots, how ungrateful! 

He didn’t understand how his Lord could take this, he himself wanted to rip the dwarves a new one and it was only his loyalty to his lord holding him back. He watched as a piece of bread flew right past his face and hit the wall behind him, he scrunched up his features and swore to the Valar that if this didn’t end soon he would have an aneurysm. 

Just as he turned back to watch the guests he stumbled backwards at the force of something hitting the side of his neck and face. A hand flew up to touch the wet mush, the sound he let out was as if a child was being sacrificed. 

His hand trembled with the strength and force it took to physically hold himself back from unleashing hell onto the dwarves. He closed his eyes and breathed out through his nose, counting to ten before opening his eyes. 

The balcony had become deathly silent, all heads were turned to Lindir.

“My Lord, I shall need to excuse myself.” He bit out with a tight jaw and strained voice. Without a backward glance, he turned and left the balcony. If he stayed a second more, his assailant would find himself without facial hair anymore. 

The silence continued for a moment more before the dwarves burst out laughing. Kili gave his fellow company high fives while hooting out their joy, deaf to the silence around them.

Elrond coughed, trying to mask his laughter. He did pity Lindir, it was not everyday one got smacked with food and had to be diplomatic about it. But he had to admit it was funny, for everyone else that was. 

He shook his head, now he had to go comfort his surely shocked and angry assistant. Lindir had a very long fuse in regards to his temper but the dwarves had been making quite the mess and an angry Lindir was not one anyone wanted to deal with.

Elrond wiped his mouth with a napkin and sighed. He looked to Mithrandir, “I shall go to douse the fire.” He gave a pointed look to the wizard, letting him know that these dwarves need to be reigned in if they wished to stay in the homely house. 

He left the balcony in a flurry of robes and headed to Lindir’s rooms. 

“In all due respect to you my lord,” Lindir started off lightly when he heard Elrond walk in, “I will murder them while they sleep.” He grounded out through clenched teeth. 

Elrond chuckled under his breath, “now now Lindir, violence is not the answer to everything.” He walked over and took the damp cloth from Lindir’s hands.

Lindir was about to protest getting his neck wiped down by his Lord like a child but the Eyebrow stopped him right as he opened his mouth, he huffed and tilted his head up to reveal more of his neck. 

“They were merely having a bit of fun,” Elrond started while helping his assistant clean behind his ears. “But-” “Still, I will assure you that they shall be warned against such… fun, in the future.” 

Elrond wiped the last traces of wet bread off Lindir’s neck, “Will that please you?” 

Lindir turned to look at his Lord with a blush on his cheeks at the embarrassment of the situation, “Aye my Lord.” Elrond smiled and patted Lindir’s cheek in the similar way one ended a discussion with a child. 

———

“Kili you fool!” Gandalf knocked Kili upside the head with his staff. Kili shouted in indigence, “What did i do?!” 

“You disrespected our host, that is what you did!” Gandalf placed his hands on his waist and stared down Kili, daring him to deny. “It was only a bit of fun, the others did it too!” He pointed to his companions. 

“Ai if I were to scold all of you for your misbehaviours we would still be at it when the sun rises!” He sighed and shook his head, “You have humiliated our host with your so called fun, not to mention it is Lindir! Of all the elves you could choose, why has it to be Lindir?” 

Bilbo tilted his head to a side in confusion, “What does it being Lindir have to do with disrespecting our host?” 

Gandalf sat back down on his chair, “My dear hobbit, that is only for me to know.” He gave a mischievous wink to Bilbo then turned back to Kili, “I expect you to apologise to our host.” 

Kili grumbled and mumbled, “Unless you wish I tell dear Lindir you had thought him attractive and an elf maid?” Gandalf raised an eyebrow and a corner of his lips tilted up. 

Kili looked to the wizard aghast, he wouldn’t! 

Fili laughed at that, “You best apologise, brother.” Kili shot his brother a dirty look, “Alright I will! Just… later.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and/or comments are much appreciated :>   
> my tumblr: http://petalsofelrondir.tumblr.com/


End file.
